I follow a lot of other women who, like me, had their worlds turned upside down due to infidelity and/or sex addiction. Many of these women regularly talk about and refer to “D-Day”. From what I gather, this is the day that they found out about the transgression(s) of their spouse. I suspect that “D” stands for “Discovery”.
My D-Day is coming up sometime in the next week or so. I don’t remember the date exactly, though I could look it up by checking my old emails. I’m not sure the exact day matters, but I will pick a day later this month and my husband and I will celebrate.
In U.S. history D-day was the beginning of the end of the Nazi invasion of Western Europe. There was a lot of loss during the invasion of Normandy, but yet we celebrate the day as it was the beginning of the end of a horrible time in world history.
I think of the day 2 years ago when I discovered my husbands unbelievable behaviors as the beginning of the end of a horrible time in my marital history. The details of the day would certainly be painful if I chose to dwell on them. But the longterm growth and benefits that resulted from that day have made the pain worth it. Had the discovery not happened, we would have both spent the last two years in the limbo that was our relationship. We would have been perfectly amicable with one another, but not intimate. We would have cared about one another, but not loved unconditionally. If D Day didn’t happen, he would still be acting out with strangers and I would still be cheating on him with my ex. We would be sharing the same house, but not sharing our truest selves with one another. We would be lying to each other as well as to ourselves. We would be lonely and unfulfilled.
We have both grown and changed so very much in the last 2 years. We love one another with transparency and respect. We communicate with our hearts, not just our minds. We can count on each other with a confidence that I have never felt before. This wouldn’t have happened without the discovery.
I’m not sure how other’s get through their “D-day” but I will call is “Devotion Day” or “Determination Day” or “Damn it if we didn’t make it Day”. I will dress up and wear expensive perfume and hold my husband tight and celebrate all that we have endured – together.