Liar: No longer an adjective that describes me

There were a lot of positive side affects that came with the disclosures that my husband and I both did last fall.  As hard as it was to tell the truth, and to hurt my husband deeply in the process, it is such a relief to know that he has all the information about my actions.  Finally he knows “all of me” and still loves me, still accepts me and has actively chosen to stay with me.  The same goes for the reverse.  I hated hearing about his activities and the memory is still difficult to think about.  But I am happy that I know the truth and that he can feel truly loved as the man he is – not the one he pretended to be for so many years.

 
The best result of coming clean is that I absolutely don’t want to dirty the water again.  If I were to cheat on my husband, I know I would tell him.  In the end, I believe he would forgive me and stay with me…regardless of that belief, I don’t want to create that kind of turbulence in our relationship. I don’t want to take us back to square one.  I don’t necessarily have all of my cravings under control, but for the first time in a long time I know that I wouldn’t hide it if I made a mistake….in that regard I am holding myself to a higher standard.  Lying isn’t an option for me right now.  That means that cheating isn’t an option.  How nice to have the freedom to do the right thing.
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