For years I have maintained secrecy with my family and friends when it comes to my husbands cheating and sex addiction. I feared being judged by my friends for staying with someone who could betray me in such an awful way and I didn’t want my family to loose any of their love for him. It’s a lonely pain to suffer alone.
When my husband relapsed this past year I made a commitment to do things differently and in the process started to share some of my story with others. I have been very selective and still haven’t mentioned any of our issues to my immediate family, but I haven’t hid it from everyone. To a degree, I no longer feel that it is something to be embarrassed about and I felt that my journey could possibly be helpful to others who have dealt with similar problems. It’s the biggest reason I started this blog.
Over a cocktail with a co-worker six weeks ago I confided that both of us (me and my husband) “have cheated and lied”. I didnt go any further into the story, just mentioned the basics. Lo and behold, I got a call from her this weekend. She just found out her husband has had a mistress for the past year. I am so thankful now that I made that decision to let her know my story – for I am the only person in her life who she can talk to about this and not be judged. She told some other friends about his actions and is only getting bitter, predictable “LEAVE HIM” advice. For the sake of her love for her husband, and the welfare of her son, I am so glad that I can offer another perspective and be a role model for how to maneuver through this mess. Whether she stays with him or not, they need to work through this pain so they are going to talk to a professional and take time sorting this out. She and her husband may not make it in the end – but for today she is being fair and supportive and trying to accept him. I am so proud of her.
Amazing to think how many women, every single day, are finding out an unimaginable truth. I am glad I was able to be here with an ear and a hug for even one of them.